a meaningful life series
LOOSE BUT DON'T GET LOST
because the only price worth living is "A Meaningful Life".
Mon.Jan.29.2024 - Ubochi Afor
I had an ex-girlfriend whom I would have gladly married. Excellent woman but she would have kept me attached to America, I gave her up, and I didn't get lost.
I have an excellent Wife, who may come up with any nuisance Any day, maybe she has, maybe she will - I will never tell lol. However, for all it is worth, I won't get lost to keep love, nor wealth, nor even life itself.
Say I met the girl of my dream, heart beats so fast but if the dream keeps me awake, I am very well willing to walk away.
I use thees examples precisely because they are extreme. I wish for non of it to come true, having the memory of the pain of the ones that have. however, to have "A Meaningful Life" , I have found that "often", you have to walk away, even from the best opportunities and especially from free meals that cost more overtime than it would have taken to eat in cash - the whole restaurant.
Loose but don't get lost, "A Meaningful Life" is the result of a conscious investment in a path that is precisely "yours", for a gain that bless the world with the best of who you "are" and "become". However and often, on that road, the best people in your life will be the sweet traps that pull you OfCourse and set you on a drive in a direction that even they will eventually regret.
This is the story of most divorces, business Dissolution and friendships that sour. Much in life, you find the People who love you, pulling aggressively, to get brief rewards from you, that stain your "Meaningful Life", with target marks, making them prey for the world by forcing you to "come out" too early, "invest" too much, "yield" too often, "change" for fun and all the other ways in which those who love us can twist us out of shape, until our rubber doll snaps and can No longer be put back into the ideal design and if possible to salvage, not without much time lost and evidence of a heart held by plaster.
It isn't just people. Often the best way to fail to get your ideal job is to be hired one interview earlier by something that seems good enough. The best way to loose you husband is to be told beautiful stories of her husband, by your best friend. The best way to loose a wife, is to be confused about the Social Media alternatives, with their hair done right and nails on fleek (whatever that means). It isn't always the serious things, the great opportunities or the true alternatives that derails us, but a semblance of a problem, a good opportunity and a picture of hope in a direction that leads to a dream, that is good, but simply not yours.
When in doubt, loose, but don't get lost.
OPPORTUNITIES
Opportunity is endless but the ones that are yours, is finite.
Doctor, Nurse, Dentist, Pharmacist etc., are all in the Medical field, and the one to choose it not really about which is financially more lucrative, or which is an easier work, or which is available to you. You must expose yourself to all and select the one that calls out to you. Anything less is profitable nonsense - "Meaningless".
2 Sons and 2 Daughters, 4 Sons or 4 Daughters, all are equal to 4 children, however the mix that will bring you the most joy is programmed in the intermingling of your genes and their mother's, as such wife selection is not a matter of Beauty Queen or Smart Alice, seek the one that calls out to you.
That Jobs in the Civil Service or Politics pay well does not mean you should close your shop. That Toilet Tissues are profitable, does not mean you should stop Shoe Making, Pastoral works may pay, Police also, Prostitution seems easy but opportunities are not a road to "A Meaningful Life", purpose is.
A Meaningful Life is not the same as economic pragmatism, it isn't about convenience, it isn't about ease, or any otherword by which one can convey opportunity. It is a finite set of things that need to be done, to move life to the "Permanent Site".
TIMING
Vision write it down, Wealth keep it down,
Opportunity strick it down.
EASY WAY OUT
Normally sends you out of course.
WHAT IS A LOSS
WHAT IS A GAIN
NOW CHOOSE WHEN TO LOOSE
In order that you don't get lost
INTRODUCTION
Western Economies are laden with challenges and it is so with all "successful" countries, except a very small few like Switzerland, Russia and Singapore, where a mix of cultures exist with reduced friction and a government that seems to be working for the greater majority of the people exists, confining any general failures to the realm of the general challenges of waking up on earth.
For must successful countries the bulk of extra-ordinary challenges are faced by immigrants, minorities, guests and groups with fringe ideology. In these contries and For the greater mass of their society, upward mobility, basic human rights, access to judicial protections, physical security and a pure feeling of citizenships is all but Guaranteed.
Image: Vorontsovsky Park in Moscow Russia, simple public amenties like this exist all over the world, as a place for everyday people. Since the Administration of Muhammadu Buhari, Millenium Park Abuja, Remains Closed.
In Nigeria however and Africa in Extension, a local population made up of "original" people of the land face grossly inadequate protections under the law, justice is for the highest bidder, human rights is not for all animals, especially those without "mullah" and citizenship is acquired on the basis of Tribe, Religion, Language, all combined with economic muscle And/or the protections of the offices one occupies.
Evident of this financial divide is in any Police harassment starting with "may I know you?", this applies if the police get a hint that you may "be important" or may know (have) "someone important". when they have known you, the harrasment may stop and now begin in earnest.
most "successful" societies, have a basic promise of social amenities, affording even the poor, access to housing, food, education, health care and the base human infrastructure of Light, Water, Roads and Public Transportation. For 90% of Nigerians and most Africans, these common Amenities and infrastructure are unimaginable luxuries. In fact even the wealthy can only be sure of good roads "inside their "Banana Island" estates". Even government officials can only be assured health care "after a flight abroad", Even the poorest sell land to send children abroad for education and housing is for the few, with "bachers" no longer for the poor but has become a a manageable option for the middle income in major cities like Abuja, Luanda, Douala, if they dare to live close to the center of power.
For the rest, Power, Water, and Public Transportation, no body dreams of their availability in much of Africa, we all simply dig our wells, Power our generators and drive wastefully to "everywhere", this for those who can afford a car. For the rest it is cramped standing on rickety buses, making friends with neighbours just to charge a phone and praying for the rainy season just so your family can finally have access to Water for basic washing and drinking.
THIS COUNTRY IS NOT WORKING FOR ANY MAN.
A Governor's Convoy Gets Stuck in the Mud in Edo State, Nigeria.
While the wealthy African can boast of personalized luxuries, in the general society his quality of life is poor reference to what is available to a simple professor in America. As such, each new generation in Nigeria and Africa, meets an exodus of youth, our Tomorrow, fleeing the disaster we call a nation, to greener pastures - and yes they are Greener - BUT yOU, you want to stay, nice, following me, let me show you how to make the stay the best decision.
Welcome To A Meaningful Life: Surviving A Country For No Man.
RULE 1: Don't Take It Personal
A Governor's Convoy Gets Stuck in the Mud in Edo State, Nigeria.
The 1st rule to surviving this poorly designed eco-system of ours is to Remember that it is not targeting you, it is merely the consequences of colonization, military dictatorships and poor Democratic leaderships, Elite Self Interest and General Human Despicability in the Midst of Economic and Social Desperation, all combining to create an eco-system that is gradually collapsing on itself. In your village as in mine, you probably have towns you don't marry from, is that not a local tribalism?, in the city the owners of the city may discriminate against your Tribe?, is That not a local form of racism, in a court of law, a Judge may find you Guilty on account of your religion?, is that not a kind of jungle mentality? Africans are not Tribal, Or Religious, they are in trouble.
Think of Africa as a jungle of wild animals and then it will be easy for you to manage the atrocities without getting emotional. You want to survive right? Emotions kill in the jungle, so stay calm.
Now some of you are already leaning into your more selfish ideas, saying "yes, Nigeria is a jungle, kill or be killed". Quiet the thought, for the purposes of this article, think of yourself as a Goat. The option of killing does not exist to you, but the option of being killed is high, So, do not be emotional, the lion just wants to eat and so does the Lecturer that lures at you on account of the opportunity to harvest your thighs that is presented by your failing grades, the police office licks his lips at the tasty opportunity that is presented by your dreadlock hair and laptop computer, which will make it easy to accuse you of Yahooery, the Judges belly growls at the opportunity to sentence you to jail and feel powerful, Remedying a purported wrong to his people that neither you, nor him were present when it Occurred.
The jungle just wants to eat you, because you are tasty, not because you are Igbo, Khosa, Edo..., or Christian, Muslim, ARO or anything else. In fact the jungle does not care that you are Gay or Normal, divergence is not the motivation, hunger is, the jungle likes to f**king eat and you like all others are meat.
Every other tag is just "a bad name given to a Dog to kill it". Think of it this way. Can you name a single Tribe, Religion or Group in Nigeria or Africa, that Separately enjoys Light, Water, Roads and Transport? Can you not see a former Central Bank Governor of Nigeria, crime or no crime being wantonly berated and his freedoms abused even in court premises? Who is it that is safe in this jungle, the Lion Jacob Zuma was almost Eaten, the great Robert Mugabe made a feast, Muammar Al Gaddafi was beaten in the streets, what then do you expect, should happen to your punny little Keke Napep riding ass?
Africa is a modern jungle, where rules don't apply. You are not a victim, you are a member. Again, you are a MEMBER, a Citizen of a Tribe that eats its young (Not naturally, just post colonial madness).
Kill all emotion, remember that you are a goat and can't kill. Now keeping these in mind and remembering that you are not a target but are still a potential meal, let's move forward.
STEP 2: Pick A Side
People often ask me why I came back to Nigeria and when I have time, I tell them this funny story.
- - - Story Starts - - -
Imagine that you were a Goat and you were the best of the goats and then one day the Lions came to you and invite you to become a member of their Tribe. On your way to their camp to a feast in your honor you asked them what they like about you and they tell you that you are strong and brave and fast and intelligent and so deserve to be among them and not with your slow, victim, Goat tribe. As you get to the feast you discover that all the meals are made of Goats. In the speeches you discover that you will be hunting with them, hunting "goats". What would you do?
I came back to Nigeria Because I discovered that America, the West and much of the world where living well by leaching the blood of my people.
I chose to stay with the Goats and use the knowledge I now have about the Lions to make sure they change their diet. Having accessed the innermost core of American society, I understand the Colonial and hegemonic destruction of Africa (my people - the Goats), and am back to share their secrets with as many of my people as possible and to lead us away from their traps and take us of their list as food.
In essence, while in America I can succeed that success would be in support of an Empire that is leaching my people, I would rather be at home to cut out the leach, stopping the victimization of Africa via import dependency, tribalism, foreign Gods and all the other tools of the colonial Lions, that now keeps our people as subjects in the land of their fathers, serving dwarf goats that have taken up sides with foreign powers, ideas and ideals.
- - - Story Ends - - -
Having heard the story, I now present 3 options to you;
Option 1: Japa ohhh,
Option 2: Join the Lions, they need Goats to keep us down
and Option 3: Remain a Goat, follow me and let me show you where the green grass grows and how to be a better Goat that survives no matter what.
If you chose to join the Lions good luck, you're on your own, I have no advice for you on how to eat my people. We will be waiting for you, when you come - even though we cannot kill, we can still lead you to a Ditch and let you "suicide attempt".
If you chose to Japa, good luck, dishes by whatever name needs immigrant to wash them, be it Junior Doctor Dish, or Junior Professor Dish, Or Laundry Business Dish or actually Driving an Uber and Literally Washing real dishes... The world needs you and we don't want the extra load of protecting Goats who are not committed to this Goat life.
For all those who chose to stay with the Goats, follow me, eating grass is a much healthier diet than chasing down blood, it is a restful life, and much more amazing than you can imagine.
STEP 3: Elephant Anyone?
Note: the example of the Goat is intentional up until this point, because if you can think of yourself as a weak animal and still pick your tribe, you are my kind of person and you already have the base resources to survive - character, principles and a beating heart.
In truth Africans are not goats in the Jungle of life, we are Elephants. The Elephant is the true King of the jungle and is not a victim for the Lion. In fact, while the Elephant is a gentle giant, a well placed stump from it is enough to impale a Lions skull and cause a rethink from his whole gang. You must return yourself to the place of the Elephant.
If continue to think of yourself as lacking, weak and deficit, seeking montisorry schools for your children, converting your natural accent to "Fonae" (Phonetics) and bleaching your beautiful smooth skin, that inferiority complex alone is enough to expose you to the tricks of the lion and turn your perfectly curly hair into an open avenue for introducing you to prostitution as you envy Bone straight stupidity.
You must know that your Father, Your Mother, Your brothers and sisters, your village, your language, your people, your state, your country, africa is enough, you are enough, we are enough for all the most advanced developments of social systems like marriages that last, economic models like business that scale, technological advancements including space programs, governance that leads and the models that define them.
We are Elephants and we do not need to think like lions, nor serve lions to thrive in a Jungle in which we are kings. In essence, you can stop looking for solutions outside of the perfect resources that god has surrounded you with and filled your with.
Step 4: Sharpen Your Tusk And Be Ready To Run
The perfect victim of the police is a violent man who does not know his rights. your charges will start with resisting arrest and snowball from there. the perfect victim of the professor is the beautiful, innocent, daddies girl, who is failing the course and doesn't want to disappoint daddy. The perfect victim of a corrupt judge is an igboman in an hausa court who does not speak hausa and vis-versa. Equip yourself.
The African who chooses to be in Africa must be the best, while in africa I have perfected my igbo and english and added russian and hausa to my collection, after I am done with does, i will add yoruba and arabic, enroute to ensure the ability to speak and WRITE, at least 7 languages, like A NATIVE SPEAKER.
As an architect, you do not need a masters degree from the u.k to innovate solutions for the african environment, as an engineer you do not need m.i.t to find solutions for power. by re-orienting your use of the internet, engaging in active purchases and reading of books and conduction experiments in your home or village, all of us, in all of our fields can begin to advance ourselfs to create elephants of our field, with sharp tusks and the fitness to outrun every attack.
With every effort your make at self advancement in a society that is stagnant like Nigeria you are able to present yourself as indispensable for the developments of others and this forms some of the greatest defense against attacks by the system.
it is hard for police to victimize you, even if you do not have money, when you are working for leading corporations or supplying ideas to governments and private enterprises. It is hard for the professor to victimize you when you are an ace student and all students know that they come to you for support. it is hard for the judge to criminalize you when the society knows you as a responsible and upstanding citizens and locals of their tribe and creed stand in your defence, even if only to support their own leeching from the greatness you have build of yourself.
Step 5: Dream Awake!
You must recognize the balance between managing the reality of the modern African malais and bypassing it to achieve your dreams of a better life and world.
When I was younger, my younger brother had some circumstances he complained about, which I couldn't change and so in that moment of desparation, all I could offer was wisdom and motivated by his circumstances, I gave him one of the best advice I have ever given, this advice which I gave him from the United States of america in a moment of random perfection, has guided my own survival in the zoo for human animals.
I told him "Enjoy it but don't like it".
The point is that when you're already in a situation you do not like you must find away to make each moment of life, still worth it, But you must never adjust so much as to begin to accept the absurd as normal. Living without light is absurd, every compound becoming a water board is absurd, needing a Visa to check your blood pressure is absurd and to live a meaningful life in an absurd society, you cannot forget the absurdity of the situations but you must still be able to function and retain joy and hopefulness, as Such, while the rape of your body, mind or spirit persists, like it, that is the only way to survive. (Apologies to anyone who has experienced genuine sexual violence but I write inspired thoughts and do not sensor the efficiency of inspiration, bear with me).
When the police officer puts you in a cell just to breathe, lie down gently and absorb the cold from the tiles with a heart full of joy, focusing more on good thoughts and pragmatic solutions to your present condition, than the dramatic unfairness of Africa.
When the Lecturer "ducks" your marks because you fail to pay bribes or the Judge threatens to imprison you because you refuse to play ball with his fraternity members, or a politician diverts your taxes to punishing policies and the state reallocates your votes and teachers teach your children nonsense and on and on and on, Smile, in order to avoid the heart attack that this Nation is always "trying" to distribute.
Smile in tolerance, enjoy the situation as a personalized comedy show, a roast at your expense, an April fools joke. Enjoy it but don't like it. Whenever the Joke is over, suspended or at intermissions return to your dreams - you must have dreams, big dreams. Dream them in the day time and do something about them before the night.
The single greatest failing of the African society is its vicious murder of hope. Envision a new world, managing the present with pragmatic aclimatizations but never accepting it as anything other than the absurd consequence of selfish children in our government houses.
Note that the people you expect to change the nation are often colonial residue who imbibe British and American aristocratic DEMOCRACY and second class the citizenry to the emulation of Arab and english traditions. They themselves often slaves to the countries of their training, the trading routes that made them and a vicious cycle of inferiority that impales any genuine creativity, innate inspiration and ability to foster and deploy the out of the box thinking that the african needs to be free.,
Do the thinking for them, dream in the day, be ready for the things we will build from your ability to sleep through this nightmare and dream in the day.
Step 6: Offense Is Defense!
When I was coming back to Nigeria, my father told me to tame down my intelligence, he noted that Nigerians would never give me any opportunity if they could see clearly, how many miles ahead of them, I was. He noted that the would fear that my polished version will outshine them out of every office to which they bring me along. He was right, but I only know because I never listened.
I wear my heart on my sleave and it has cost me many opportunities, including in social aspects with women and friends, in enterprise with business opportunities and it is the main reason why i do not do government contracts.
You must OFFEND, pepper dem, Salt their wounds, Fire them with your "Haske, Mmuke", Light within.
One of the ways in which the good african looses himself is by playing fake it till you make it for too long. Due to the Prevalence of facade in our society, if you do not live a life of substance you will eventually adopt lifestyles that will make it impossible to be good in africa.
At any time when someone meets you, they must know what you represents. You must be bold in your righteous indignation for the absurdity that is the Nigerian and african experience. Frown at corruption, run from immorality, disdain the notion of hook and crook. Offend, it is the best defense.
If you ever try to Acclimatize and naturalize to the "Nigerian way" (negatives, you will find a willing audience of Friends and Colleagues that will guide you down the rabbit hole. Any freshman who is willing to smoke weed in an abandoned building will find friends, but are those really the company that you wish to keep. Note, it wasn't the weed that bothers me, it's the stupidity required in risking your reputation, safety and freedom by smoking in abandoned buildings whose past and purpose are unknown to you, just to make friends who are likely flunking and whose future depends on the furtherance of the worse proclivities of African post colonial truancy.
By offending you will free yourself of the influences of the mundane members of society, owing them nothing. You also be under pressure to be excellent because they will give you nothing that you do not "over" earn, as such you like me, will learn to fight the system and win, and the system will learn to leave you alone for the sake of its own interests and peaceful existence. Offend evil and the systematic rot of the Nigerian and African society and you will be forced to be a force to be avoided.
Its is the misalignments that came with my proclaimed and obvious commitment to a Nigeria that works and an African that leads the world that forced me to develop my skills, abilities, Principles, character and general attractiveness to a point where I have become and indispensable asset for both the criminal and the victim.
The best Offset for Africa's victimization of divergent, dreaming, honorable members of society is a propensity for substance and excellence, as this offers them the very thing they cannot get anywhere else. It is clear that the Aces student, who is bold, clean and respectful, will also have friends and often the "abandoned building" smokers will need his help to pass the class. yet and still even when they attempt to victimize you, who says that criminals make better fighters - please my friend being good does not absolve you of the need to own whatever qualifies as arms and security in your field and stage of life, be it boxing lessons, avoiding late night strolls in mini skirts or a full blown collection of military grade weaponry. Even in America, "Big bank take little bank". Shine your eye.
Step 7: Having Restored Equilibrium, All Other Things Apply.
When you have followed and while In the process of following the 6 steps aforementioned, you can easily key in to all of the others lessons of a meaningful life. Living as if you were in Switzerland, Russia or Singapore, with a clear expectations that the absurd rules of the African jungle does not apply to the Elephant.
Elephants have no fear of the Lion, nor the Rhino, Nor the Hippo, it stays away from them and they stay away from it. Yes if it exposes itself to weakness it makes a worthy meal, covering breakfast, Lunch and many dinners. As such you as a shining light in your office, school or enterprise must recognize that the wonders of your meaningful life, rises envy, jeolousy and looting rage in the minds and hearts of the goats in the jungle
Both the Goats that seek to Japa and the Onces who Dwarf to serve foreign Gods, all will marvel at the glory of your honorable and MEANINGFUL existence. in the face of purpose and meaning, their Ill-gotten wealth, poor Marital choices, ill mannered children and all the other consequences of a life of facade will reflect in mirrored perfections whenever your name is mentioned. As such you must continue to improve and build and grow because the laughter that will come from them if you finally Concede and join them in their Japa/Dwarfing escape will read ""Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter".
AML - SERIES PROFILE
A MEANINGFUL LIFE
the "A MEANINGFUL LIFE" series is a non Religious, Non Enterprise look at life and meaning, written with the hope of getting you to a life of pure Joy, real Happiness and Satisfaction with your own life, regardless of your faith and economic profile.
It does not intend to preach, but where necessary it will. At the end, the desired result is that from this series you will pick up the tools to give your life greater meaning, and live a more satisfying existence.
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