THE GOD'S ARE NOT TO BLAME series
WOMAN POISON
A trap has been set for us, our wives, mothers and daughters are now a speed limit to traditional identity and the independent development of our Social and Spiritual identity and in essence, a break in our core that brakes every other thing.
Thur.august.8.2024 - Ubochi Afor
Whenever I write these articles, well meaning friends ask me not to use names, in order not to make enemies or get sued. In this article I will use names. I have no problem with making enemies of the enemies of my people, should I pretend they are friends? In this instance no malice is ment but a lack of practical references will make this article a mere theory.
Is Iyabo Ojo a good example of a happily married woman? Or a perfect Sister? or an ideal Mother?
Any society, African or not that awards best dressed woman to a mischief maker like Bobbi Risky, is not loco, no slang is needed, it is crazy, and Nigeria and Africa is getting crazier by the moment with our association of Western norms and maladies and the degeneration of Women and the Cultures around feminine identity and the God's Are Not to Blame.
Why would a man marry a feminist, for fashion or lectures? Why should he raise one, for arguments or intimidation? Why would he need a Sister whose only line of conversation is a question of his natural and unchangeable identity? Why would his mother raise him to be ashamed of who he is or to question the relevance of his father to society?
While achievement is not a vice, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala is still an achiever and still does not frame her entire career on crass "de-masculinization" of society, as if women are craving to go to wars.
Men are the way they are because our world is combat and by God, I wish on my daughters, men with full balls and I will instruct them to humble themselves and take the load, so that if ever thieves make it past the fence, he can take that load.
We aren't designed to align, parallel or partner. We are designed completely different, as north and south pole, magnetic attraction, socket and plug, to interact, counteract, balance and complete each
others missing pieces.
Women don't lead.
Just incase you think it is a typo. Here it is again.
Women don't lead. Shouldn't lead.
I never said women can't lead. They can, but that doesn't make it normal. Catfish can live for hours out of water, does it mean they should be doing that?
MANAGE NOT LEAD
Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala is globally accomplished, yet married with Children and has never uttered public disparagement of men and while I cannot speak to her home, I have not seen her husband complaining. Why is this so rare?
By virtue of design and natural orientation, women are better managers than men. This is not in contest and the man who is wise will hand his home over to his wives and daughters but will not concede to their leadership of himself or his Sons.
The same applies to businesses and governance, the military, social and spiritual organizations.
Women can manage the places of worship but there would be no condition known to man under which I would attend a Church, Mosque or Traditional Worship center that is "led" by a woman.
This is not sexism but just a fact of life that we all have our roles. Roles that have now been made a battle ground by the new world order. Changes which are creating a devilish destruction of our homes and societies and "The Gods Are Not to Blame" - We are.
Equality and moral combat cannot change the predefined and traditional characteristics of men and women. This is said while noting averages and variations such as to say that a small percentage of women are excellent leaders and a small percentage of men are better managers but these are anomalies and should not be aspired to.
Why would a wire want to be a plug?
In women is a natural propensity to care (nurture) and this is being gradually eroded in every new generation of Nigerian and African women. Women are being skillfully convinced to ditch their propensity to care and love. love and care which benefits their men, children and the world. They are encouraged to ditch this and to submit to an empty life in which they expend an undue amount of energy competing with men in roles like the Military, Religious Orders, and Governance, roles which are zones of Spiritual, Mental and Physical warfare. War for which women were never designed.
Every society recognizes that war is not for women and children, yet somehow Africa is now battling with it's women, fighting to keep them from entering fights that they will surely loose, contests with their very own men, Sons and brothers on who will lead.
VIRTUE
I couldn't find a single Nigerian woman to put here, I know they exist, please suggest one, so that we can change this, yes I can actually put my mother here but only if no one suggests another option, she has been a great example of loyalty, a virtue lacking in a world where "women think like a man".
Throughout the history of the world, virtue has been a priced reserve of women.
In all cultures the virgin was a priced possession. This interface was not strictly a sexual notion, it is a general concession of innocence that stretched into enterprise and public life, with the understanding that women of virtue would have the moderation to ignore corruption and defer from excesses in all areas of life.
In the modern day however, women have "gone wild" and "The Gods Are Not To Blame".
Starting with the colonial era, the western world has contended with our hold on our women and girl child and strategically deviced ways to rape this system and create a divide.
The 1st assault was the introduction of the Bible and notions of equality in the home that attacked the time tested concept of multiple wives.
This was a simple tool to employ since mere personal interest attracted our women to these new faiths and the idea of the "ownership of a man" and led to our Religious and consequent spiritual conquest.
The 2nd is less obvious because the white man also fell for the trap he set for us. While our women had always worked and this work was a natural component of freedom and the contribution of personal energy to the home, for wives and daughters, the white man had practiced the alien idea of "house wife" and "pet children".
In his attempt to destroy our homes with pleasing notions of women's independence, he enabled the universal Suffrage movements in his own countries, lost grip on his own women and sent his world down the backwards spiral of divorce and choice single hood.
Today, we also battle the resultant challenges, as our women fight for the right to work as if it was ever lost in Africa. Worse still, in this fight they have found a way to hate us, as if the idea of a housewife and a wife lacking in independence was an African idea. This is in a society where almost every cultural event required the participation of Umu Ada (The 1st Daughters), Ndi Nne (Our Mothers) to be a truely community affair. A world in which most women had their own peculiar farmlands for light crops and held most of the compound animals and was in charge of the childrens upbringing less the back breaking work of discipline and teaching young Boys how to be men.
Today, virtue is a battle ground and The Gods Are Not to Blame, we are, because in a lack of command of our education systems, slipping grip of our customs and nearly extinct oral traditions of disseminating morals, history and culture, we have copped responsibility for a crime we never committed.
The net result is that the corruption of virtue in our women now start in the places they go to seek a liberty that was never lost. Western style Universities that are dens of hedonism, workplace cultures that have no respect for our cultures and modern economic pursits that become the only justifying points of achievements and give room for women to adopt alien presentations in an attempt to rise in positions that they would never need if men where men and could never reach if men were men.
Women have a reasonable fear if they are forced to be non-contributing members of a household or loose the ability to have a voice in their homes and families but these notions are not ours, they are not our traditions, we do not conquer our daughters and sisters and we never slave kin. Our wives are gods in the home and we stay clear of anything that resembles someone elses wife or sister, recognizing the lengths our men would go to protect their women's virtue.
These alien ideas of imprisonment and lack of suffrage are White men's ideas, packaged as ours and we now share the consequences both in male misconceptions of how we share positions and female combat over a battle line that was never drawn. The consequence is a lose of virtue, since women now allege that it is our "freedoms" that give us the edge and now fight to show us that they can be free by liberating their breasts and loins as a non exclusive buffet and degrading their moral character with ever new levels of corruption in the home, work and in general standing as humans of equal virtue decay to the men they claim, rule the world.
MODEL
The beauty of Alicia Keys is that with all of her success, her children can actually watch her videos and listen to her music, what a model?
Our children have lost their model.
What manner of barbash is a full grown mother in hot pants? what place has a role model in a club? what is the example in a Sister who shares sex stories with your young children?
Much of the battle lines we have with out women originate from the false sense of freedom that is creating a specie of woman that makes a terrible reference point for the child, especially the girl child. In 90% of divorces is an attempt to punish the man by denying them access to body or Children, this while sharing the body with bride price shy "boys" and exposing the children to less able "men", in a master class of miseducation that does nothing to model in the children any ideal of life that is actually ideal.
In expressing freedoms our women have abandoned the aspiration to be "Ndi Nne" (Our Mothers) and have adopted the concept of High Chick.
For example, Kate Henshaw is not a reasonable reference model to which I would care to give to my children, even Genevieve Nnaji who has a majestic air and commands my personal respect should never be the ideal view of womanhood.
What man wants his daughters to raise Sons without a lineage and father daughters who do not have a kindred to send her off? What father wants to retrieve a bride price already paid, no matter the economic strength of the daughter? Why would I, after reading Yvonne Nelson's biography invite her to my home, even if as a guest, such that my children would emulate exactly what part of her story?
Only a poor man would wish any of these on himself, in a greedy push to bring the wealth home and seize up offspring and inheritance. No Man of means or "man" as recognized in the definitions of the African as "man" would seek such dishonor as a daughter who is single at 50, or a star of the movies who could not find herself a love story.
The role of the woman in African society is as a model for our children of sanity and moral conduct. They are the advocates of piety, compassion, compromise and human decency. What about this is a curse?, that our women should fight to join nuisance men in beer parlors and cheapen themselves so wildly that you cannot pick the wives from the whores and our daughters feel no shame in stripping to the point of honking noise because their mothers have shown no shame in their own horror show presentations of "5 kids" thighs.
The Gods Are Not To Blame, our own sexual proclivities and adoption of Western notions of sexual conduct help to perpetuate a trade in human skin that has made routine interactions between men and women a financial transaction.
We have accepted Western models where it seems to please us and in the process lost moral authority to address the down-ward trend of woman value, such that with each passing day, the going value of our daughters thighs is depreciating and decency is no longer a traditional expectation from our women and when we dare to correct this, we hit a hardened rock, solidified by generations of bad examples
and the watering of our patronage of Western standards of sexual norms.
This modeling, is not limited to sexuality, it intersects work culture, responsibility and the general respect for men that allows for a society in which our daughters and Sons have a sliver of respect for us. The palpable hate of men by most women are the originating factors for the terror that their daughters become to men well before any has a chance to give her viable reasons for such detest. This reference point creates a chain reaction as she can only find men who can eat shit or those who are smart enough to pretend to eat shit and worse, those who will actually feed her a health cuisine of raw human feeces.
In each case the model in reference will lead to excuses outside herself for the deficits in manhood, trickery or Man misery she receives. In our boys, the case isn't better, just different and more fitting to another article with a focus on Masculine deficiencies.
ASPIRATION
This is the woman who would be your Queen, shouldn't she be a thing of pride?
The priced game which we used to trap to "husband" has now become a predator which we shoot to kill.
A woman formed the most essential asset in the life of a man. Not anymore.
Having been told that women are not property, those who are wise no longer possess them but Reserve them Daily pay for sex, rentals called marriages if you want children and suffering leases if you dare to seek a home for a lifetime. No ownership.
why should a man fight to the death for something he doesn't own?
As such our women get a short end of the stick that only appears to be long.
That which we used to aspire to, we now fear and possibly loathe. In fact in the rare chance that a man, much like myself who does not agree with the majority of modern men, ventures to marry for love and attempts at the traditional duties of a man, he finds himself confirmed foolish, having paid much too much for an item being sold around the corner at a giveaway.
Our women have become competition and no body aspires to competition. You prepare for it, fight to win and try at all times to never give an inch except as a tactical measure to lure your opponent. The priced game which we used to trap to "husband" has now become a predator which we shoot to kill.
Yes, we no longer own our women. Instagram, Facebook and Fake life now compete with us for shareholding. Gaslighting and emotional blackmail form part of every shareholder vote and media darlings whose lives are so terribly bad upon proper examination, have become the standard for the product we used to elevate to the place of a crown on a mans head.
Yes, we no longer own but now we are both alone
Even in a marriage with 2 people and even in the absence of a second wife both parties are staring out of the window, waiting for the other party to quote a very stupid norm, "irreconcilable differences".
What about a man and woman was supposed to be reconcilable? We are not the same, we are quite different but in that difference we become complimentary, 2 parts that make a whole and one has to be the male, seeking the right socket to fit in and keep as his own but since we cannot own the sockets anymore, it is all man for himself, women included.
Why aspire for a rented apartment? People want a house of their own but our women have been taught to make a house ever more luxurious, but not a home.
What in that should we aspire to? And The Gods Are Not To Blame, we are. Our poverty has led to colonial ideals and western ideas ruling our homes both in Christian, Muslim and Traditional homes and in the end our women, mothers and daughters alike are aspiring for picture perfect nonsense and we no longer long for them because they are no longer the dreams their mothers were and why would any sane man want a woman who is not in his dreams?
Without the aspirational value and laden with notions of "equal rights" the investments needed to "keep" a wife or raise a daughter to hand off to another home or fight for a Sister who will compete with you for your fathers assets makes our women a point of contest and nothing to aspire to have or hold.
CHOICE
I chose my wife years ago, I would choose her today but I cannot control her choices and we wrestle in a world in turbulence. No matter the circumstances however, I will protect my decision and her as my choice in the only family one gets to choose.
Choice is not a consideration in the design of a society. Humans given choice will elicit chaos with selfish renderings of facts that make the truth a point of speculation.
In the world of men and women however, choice is welcome yet roles dictate the options allowing a multichoice quiz with 2 correct answers. 1 answer that is right for the woman and the other for the man - they are exclusive and not Interchangeable.
In the choice of partners men get to "Find", women get to "accept".
This too has become a point of combat because the modern African woman is now "looking" for a man and in her specs sheet of requests are very masculine points like height, weight, complexion etc., the very physical evaluations that men used to make.
Are we now to seek security, care and love from them?
With the roles reversed or at least mirrored for men who remain men, what is the motivation to ally with a counterpart who is seeking your position?
Men have become objects of lustful selection now straddling the twin roles of protector and Co-Wife in marriages or father and cheer leader with their daughters, or brother and Female brother with their sisters and Son and pet Husband to their mothers.
The times when the traditional choice for the woman was in place and the women chose the power to accept, African men were forced to aspire to the natural standards of excellence. They fought to achieve Physical strength, mental maturity, spiritual purity and a general sustenance of positive social standing and reputations in the community.
In the inverse today, full grown men game and play, dressing like prostitutes, puncturing ears and putting on airs more akin to what wayward women of old would do than what is to be expected of a provider. All this is done to meet the standards of "independent" women who are now making active selections, against the notion of arranged, planned and even merely family supported marriages
and courtship. The result? there are now no clear standards, just emotional selections of fem men, designed by default for heart break.
Those who rebel and stay men are branded male Chauvinistic, arrogant, controlling and all other beautiful sounding ways to express fear of male dominance and try to validate the unjustified denigration to unnatural logics that arrive at the weird concept of women, shopping for men, as opposed to women evaluating the candidates their grace attracts, to accept one who can lead them.
Women should be a beautiful award and men should be able to "keep" that price. Those are the standards. They were the standards then and they are the standards now. "There is nothing new under the Sun" and if the Sun that shines on us is the same that shined on our fathers, then the role of man remains to protect, even if the world seems less physical, to provide even when women work, to care even when promiscuity is the norm and the role of the woman remains to rule the home as he rules the streets, to model, groom and empathize. These roles have nothing to do with Internet or A.I, they are natural conditions of human programming and we did not make ourselves and have no rights to tamper with creation.
If this is the case, that there is nothing new under the Sun then the choice of the man remains to find a woman who desires and executes these roles and the job of a woman is to ensure that the man who is asking for her hand, can keep it. if you are living under an Instagram Sun however, feel free to bathe in your ignorance but please don't share it, especially when you know in your heart of hearts that even you, do not "like" the results.
But where are such women and are we still men? And The Gods Are Not To Blame, we are.
In the movies we consume alone, we are buying notions of life that are not live-able, the misery of the West packaged to us as love stories.
In real life, where is the love in a 60% divorce rate or a Suri Cruise that drops your name but keeps the cash? Is Kim Kardashian something that a sane man would seek out when the options exist for Alicia Keys. and even if that ended... because the world is mad, even in the madness, one of these stories is more manageable than the other.
ASSET
Justice Mary Ukaego Odili was a Supreme Court Judge well after her husband had expired his tenure as Governor of Rivers State and till date remains an asset, having maintained acclaim and a home.
What better asset could there be than a human counterpart to accompany you on your journey through life?
In the olden days, women where counted as part of a man's assets, not in possessive terms but as an evaluation of his status in the social pecking order which will allow such assets to pitch their tents with him.
The greater the family from which the woman belongs, the greater her beauty, the greater her intellect, the greater her moral character - the greater his own value as a man in the eyes of the society.
This class of asset which results in excellent offspring and a beautiful home, is valued above all else, comparable only to the children of "such unions". the crown jewel of a woman of virtue, A model of your Choice is irreplaceable and the very reason why in the house of any man worth his weight, the greatest treasure is a woman after his own heart, whose weight increasing his measure.
This asset has been converted into an enemy combatant or better described, an unwitting double agent who believes she is serving her own interest but is actually destroying her home. A home which is the shelter for the very children she will fight to keep from the very man whose heritage they need in order to be full-fledged members or the community.
Why would any reasonable man want to acquire such a liability as an "internal" saboteur, a "principle" 3rd party in a marriage who comes into the relationship with secondary interests and divorce anticipations?
Why would wealthy men declare and expose their assets to women who pose a risk to their networth, using Western ideas of child custody, alimony and child support to cripple them in the event of even minor disputes?
Yes, many will argue that women need protections from vile men but the challenge is that these internal sabotage risks are now universal such that all men now take undue protective measures that even accelerate the risks of a break and at the risk of teaching their daughters to manage men who live in hiding and teach our Son to be something much less than a man, a man with a diary in the office that never comes home and a life in the home that is not his own.
Our greatest asset has been weaponized against us and in trying to hedge our bets we diminish the value of our assets such that even when the union persists, men no longer boast with their wives, wives live to share criticisms of their men and if a wealthy man dies without warning, 50% of his assets are lost to outsiders because the very person who should know what he owns, is the one risk he has hedged more than death and in the end, against the interests of the children she loves so much, death and bankers win.
In our women failing to be assets, we now accept them as liabilities and hedge against their proclivities with the very same things they merely allege, hidden families, hidden assets and a second life that never comes home, and The God's Are Not To Blame, we are.
in fighting we must learn to conquer and not win - yes, conquer, meaning to ensure that the war does not trick you into being anything less than a man, but also never get so excited by your victory as to change the state of play and change an assets into a tool or rag doll.
These points will be elaborated on when I do an article on Men. For now kindly allow me to move on.
LOVE
The very foundation of the relationship between a father and a girl child is love,
brother and his sister is love, man and his wife is love, son and his mother is love.
How can one sustain love for a daughter who caricatures your tutelage with promiscuity and wanton misinterpretation of your protection of her virtues as control and wickedness?
How can one sustain love for a sister whose interactions with other boys render you in constant shame with her moral decadence or one who proposes a direct quasi-male competition in your own father's house?
How can one sustain love for a wife who is instilling division in your home, prepping for an exit in which you will lose your assets to include property, herself and your children? A love whose education makes nonsense of your adoration with constant attempts to secure your submission in your own home?
How can one sustain love for a mother who dishonors your father, threatens your heritage and is in no way a reference example that you would dare to seek in a wife?
We are not well. We are sick. Woman poison is killing us and killing love, turning our relationships into calculated transactions devoid of the virtues of love. Without Love and its introduction of tolerance and trust we are rendered handicapped in global competition because the enemy at the gate is accidentally aided by an unwitting Saboteur who is sitting in your living room, playing with your life and her own, presenting characters that are competition and nothing to Love.
We are eating poison in our bedrooms, one is lucky if there is any work going on in his Kitchen and Love is not alive in our living rooms and The Gods Are Not To Blame.
CONCLUSION
NFL Cornerback Chris Harris Jr., with his wife and 3 beautiful daughters. Women and girls are not less but we should not fight to be the same. Girls are girls and they are beautiful, and a woman is a woman and that is beautiful.
Anyone who reads this as a criticism of our women has not read with retrospection and introspection, which is what is needed to understand any article in this series (The God's Are Not To Blame).
This is not a criticism of our women nor an attack. It is a warning because colonialism and modern western leadership of culture, legal influence and social warrior inducements has weaponized our women against us but those of us who are strong men can not loose to women no matter what, as such the losses fall on our women and children and a general degradation of society. And that is not a win.
For the women this should be a wake up call, aiding them in revisiting their decisions to see what percentage is theirs and what the true benefits are of devaluing their natural heritage, roles and standing for these modern lifestyles that are lived alone, independent of a man but still with men
who now have less responsibility in their lives and to the influence of daughters whose foolishness will start at 15.
For the men, it is a call to arms and a recognition that if we can only win by beating our own women and losing our own daughters and relegating our sons to ever diminishing options in supporting cast, then we are winning by loosing everything but ourselves. Our fight therefore is with the general systems of law, social discourse, international influence and norms that are killing our homes and marriages and not our women. This is the only war we could win and celebrate and it is a war we must start now.
For Men the starting line is in never allowing your children to be raised in a broken home, no matter the cost, this one is the harder of the duties because you must wrestle with your wife to achieve this, wrestle not fight.
The second half of this, is to never allow a greater male influence in the life of your daughters that is not you, until she is "found" by a man worthy of her hand, at which point you must let go.
For the Women, it is a call to recognize that you have been made a cog in the will of foreign domination of Africa, not by choice but out of your own misunderstanding of what is in your best interest. This is often aided by media darlings who are not truthful about the misery of their chosen course and economically successful women who have escaped the worse in men, and now market them as the norm and their new found elevations as worthy of the gut wrenching and unnatural effort it takes a woman to merely parallel, the bottom half of men.
Post-menopause they convince you to break bond because the sexually active man you married, who is now extremely successful is having affairs and therefore does not love you. Sound advice but at what cost?
Pre menopause they convince you that the young electrically charged man you fell for is in bed with other women and you leave him but they stay with him. Sound advice but not a win for you.
In near perfect homes they convince you that it is not enough for him to adore you, you must share decisions 50/50 and he agrees and is miserable and you are also miserable because you are not designed to lead him. Furthermore, your children learn the wrong things and your world remains in union, held together not by an organic order but in a quiet storm where everyone is over heating on the inside while living in an airconditioned marriage. What is the point?
Often the worse happens and you step out of heaven over a feeble disagreement and find that you can never step back in, innocence is lost, ground conceded in grandstanding, bridges burnt and the women or media who sold you the dream, never gave you a full copy of the contract, just the part where you sign your name without the disclaimer that even you are not perfect and while you were managing him, he was also treating himself for poisoning.
As Africans we must think about our best interests.
pre-colonialism our people had their norms and lived happy lives. We must go back and start there, we can then reimagine some notions and modify others but these must be organic changes, natural and beneficial to us, not this artificial rose which we are forced to water, which still doesn't grow.
The Woman is a compliment to the Man, standing as the principle manager of his household, not a point of struggle but a model for his children, a point of Virtue, An Aspiration, a conscious Choice, a great Asset and something to love.
This Love must be at 1st sight, on the wedding day, post and pre-menopause because if a woman meets all of these standards they would be irreplaceable and any man who has one would go to war for her, as we did in the past.
Nwa Anyi (The point at which we commune), that is what the girl child is in Igbo, it isn't equal to man, it isn't better but it isn't less. It is what unites us and at all points in life we are willing to kill for them because we trust them to not kill us, but the world has weaponized our women and if this competition subsists the African is a fool because it means that we all have lost our point of communion and things have fallen apart.
The beginning of society is family and we don't have that and The Gods Are Not To Blame, we are.
I am not saying that women are bad, our women are wonderful but they are poisoned. Their present mindsets and desires to compete with us on roles, responsibilities and rights has created internal combat that is impaling the African man's ability to rule the world and subjecting them and their children to a world less fitting to the glory that we used to be and the magnificent presentation of human excellence that we can unveil to the modern world if we evolve our traditions with natural adherence to our own best interests, comprehensive interests not emotional trends and movie lines.
TGNB - SERIES CONCEPT
this is a syndicated Article Released Every Thursday and focused on exposing the root causes of the characteristic imbalances of the african story, with solutions that are practical for each of us to take independent of government and economic or social class.
Our world is out of balance and THE GODS ARE NOT TO BLAME... We are. While the world and other factors have a hand in our degraded quality of Life and position in the world, we must take ownership of the restoration of our pride of place in the world and in the arrival at a quality of Life that is worthy of our heritage.
And here are the tools of understanding and action, if you fail to use them, note that THE GODS ARE NOT TO BLAME... You are.
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